Match Report Special AKA The Damp Squib Match
After a fantastic quarter final win we were all looking a potentially classic semi final, replete with great shots, dramatic action and a cliff-hanging climax. Much to our disappointment our season sunk into a sea of mediocrity on Monday night.
What a rubbish match! What an anti climax!
You know when SKY hype up “Grand Slam Sunday” and you sit down telling yourself that this is going to be great…then 20 minutes into Man United/Arsenal v Chelsea/Liverpool, you realise you’ve been duped as you think to yourself “this is the most boring match I have seen, what utter dirge”.
Well, that pretty much sums up our semi with BAPL on Monday. It was crap, virtually from start to finish, utter utter crap.
We lost 7-4 and to be honest I don’t think anyone really cared. The atmosphere was dead, the passion non existent and the only time we perked up was when Deano, Jez and the rest of the Forresters team turned up to see who would be beating them in next weeks final.
We should have suspected something wasn’t right when the first song on the jukebox when we arrived at the Forresters was Alvin and the Chipmunks! The whole night was just terribly wrong. It was like being a teenager invited for a personal tour of Michael Jackson’s ranch – you know you should feel excited about it but deep down you know that something’s not right.
The only decent clearance in eleven frames was Sean Watson’s and that was with two shots and ball in hand on a relatively simple finish. The rest of us - on both sides - never managed put four pots together.
Every one of us fouled at least once in our frames, whether it be stupid in-offs, bad luck, not nominating a total snooker, not hitting a cushion or touching a ball with the cue. It a jolly poor show.
And yet things had started really well. The Slugger good us oof on the good foot by knocking in a nice finish (after getting two) against Mick Worsfield, but really Mick should have won it when he had two shots himself and missed a cut on the black by a country mile. 1-0
The Wonder broke in the next, potted a yellow but left himself tied up and only a red ball on. Nominating reds he knocked it in, but the white flicked off another ball and into the middle. Sean took out the simple finish with his two shots and we were level. 1-1
Magic lost the next when he snookered himself on his last ball and failed to get out of it, and another two shots given away by us and led to 2-1 down.
The Bear fouled in the fourth, and the BAPL player cleared up to his last ball, inexplicably screwing the bal into the middle pocket after potting it. The Bear put the rest away. It was 2-2, and a we were still in it.
Lee battled through his frame with Spike. He tried to bounce out his difficult yellow but the white went up and down the table after clipping another ball and shot into the corner to give Spike two shots and the frame. 2-3
Coach made it 3-3 at the break but only through bad play from his opponent. Coach had only just managed to hit the cushion trying to slow roll a pot to the corner. His opponent then gave away two shots and he duly cleared up. Six of the worst frames you are likely to see, and it was still all to play for.
At this point at least one team should have stepped-up and showed what they were capable of but it just got worse. Wonder lost his second when leaving a foul snooker against Sean. His only saving grace was that he had also left it so that Sean’s yellow wouldn’t go into the corner past his red, but in knocking it past the red trying to set it up, it curled round the red on the wonky table and dropped in. 3-4
In the next Bradley made a total “Cameron” (school-boy error) and forgot to call a total snooker and rolled into his ball, giving away yet another two shots, and with it the frame. 3-5
Coach pulled one back in another awful frame, this time against Matt Gouriet. Coach had two shots with one ball and the black but managed to screw up the positioning and called for a total snooker on the 8ball. As he was playing it ‘Wonder’ (who was reffing) stopped him mid shot to point out that actually he could see a clear edge of the black, and it wasn’t a total snooker! Coach then easily clipped it out of the bunch and potted it for 5-4!!! Why he asked for the total in the first place was anyone’s guess- it was just that kind of night.
It looked for a moment as if the comeback was on, but it wasn’t to be, and at crucial times we had no run of the ball when we really needed it.
Slugger put in the only good frame of the night on behalf of the Racks Pack, and left an excellent snooker behind the black after freeing his last ball. Coach Shiel called it shot of the night, but if any snooker was too good it was this one. Rather than leaving a once across the table escape, the white was so close to the black his oppo had to attempt as escape off three cushions. He skimmed one that he wasn’t aiming for, and left the white just off the top cushion and giving some awkward cueing. It needed a dead weight roll and the table wasn’t going to oblige as the white bent off and Slugger missed the pot. It cost us the frame. Ironically if the original snooker hadn’t been so good he would have probably had an easier shot whether or not his opponent escaped from the snooker. 4-6
Magic was in for the Racks Pack to save the match, and in a frame where the shots went from good to bad and back again, neither player seemed to be able to give it away. It came down to Magic potting an excellent yellow and having to take on a thin cut black into the centre. The pot missed, Chris Tate (I think) laid up the snooker and in line with our previous frames Magic missed and we gave away another two shots. Chris took out his last two balls and brought our season to an end. He summed it up perfectly when he said to Neil at the end “I was just hoping you would pot the black and put me out of my misery – I was awful”.
That sentence covered the entire match for me – it was utterly dreadful.
So the season goes out with a whimper rather than a bang. I would have preferred to have been thrashed to be honest, or perhaps go out on a deciding frame – at least in a way that we would have had some excitement. Considering the amount of county and other quality players on show it was the worst match I’ve been involved in for a long time. Lord only knows what time the match would finally have finished if it had gone all the away – as it was we finished at 12:15. Eleven frames in four hours tells you how scrappy it was.
On a personal note, this season has been another barrel of laughs. After his walkout at the Thatched Cottage we never saw JY again, although we did get a few phone calls from him to see if he was needed. Kev fell for one of Andy Brants “tap on the shoulder” specials – always amusing [in a childish and total juvenile way – ED]. In the end the Golden Cross debacle didn’t make any difference to the course of the season, and it’s Bracknell who will go on to the seasons finale against the Forresters after Dean’s team of reprobates comprehensively beat the Racks Maniacs.
Some of us will be in Yarmouth this weekend for the Champion of Champions matches. It’s a good turnout from the local area with Lee’s Lady Haig team, Rob Uzzell’s Windsor side joining The Irish Club and a team from Marlow. In truth if any of us get through to the second knockout stage on the Sunday it will be an achievement. Coach, the Bear, Vic, Magic and myself are in a 4 man qualifier for the Hainsworth event that Rileys are running and that might be fruitful given the entry criteria they are using.
With various Winter Leagues fast approaching it’s nearly time to wrap up the blog, put it in a warm box with three carrots and handful of straw and allow it to hibernate for another year as the Racks pack team members go their separate ways. Keep your browsers here for a little while longer though, as Creative Director Walls and Editor-In-Chief Southam present their highlights of the season, and THE highlight of any season - The Rackspack Awards 2008, sponsored by Rackspack.blogspot.com.
Don’t forget the deadline for sponsorship of the award ceremony has been extended by one more week, and there are a number of Gold, Silver and Bronze packages available. So if you want to join us on a VIP ladies night out and be associated with these prestigious awards, then contact us at Rackspack@hotmail.co.uk
While Kevin tries to figure out some way for him to finish top of the averages, and we prepare for the awards, we present some other great sporting failures:
http://failblog.org/2008/11/03/wrestling-fail-2/
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds0wEBKuxv8
Happy cueing,
K&K
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
Updated Averages - after quarter final
The boy Walls has taken what is surely his rightful place at the top of the averages! Two wins against the Thatched Cottage and the question on everyone's lips is - could he be playing any better? With Slugger & Coach Shiel making up the rest of the top three, can they hold off the relentless charge of The Most Hated Man In Pool (TM) Bradley Robinson.
| RANKING | Player | Win % | Attendance % | Total Points |
| 1 | Keith | 86.7 | 72.7 | 159 |
| 2 | John S | 62.5 | 90.9 | 153 |
| 3 | Kevin | 68.8 | 81.8 | 151 |
| 4 | Brad | 85.7 | 63.6 | 149 |
| 5 | Neil | 56.3 | 90.9 | 147 |
| 5 | Vic | 83.3 | 63.6 | 147 |
| 7 | John Y | 64.3 | 72.7 | 137 |
| 8 | Lee | 53.8 | 72.7 | 127 |
Friday, October 31, 2008
Match Report - Quarter Final versus Thatched Cottage
Every now and then the sporting gods decide to give someone or some team a chance to right a previous wrong. For example, Stuart Pearce missed a penalty in the 1990 World Cup and then six years later, in front of 90,000 people at Wembley Stadium, scores the penalty against Spain to put England into the semis of Euro 96.
Four years ago Colin Montgomery stood over (and made) the putt to win Europe the Ryder Cup having taken so much stick from the American “fans” that his dad walked off the course, unable to listen to it.
Easily making my top 5 sporting moments was Goran Ivanisevic winning Wimbledon in 2001. Having lost in three finals (twice to Sampras and once to Andre Agassi), he was a 150-1 no-hoper at the start of the tournament. Two weeks later, and after a last service game that was quite incredible, he beat Pat Rafter to finally take the title and exorcise the demons.
Maybe, just maybe, the sporting gods have handed the Racks Pack a similar opportunity…
Exorcising the Demons
After falling at the quarter final hurdle two years running we really couldn’t have picked a worse team to play in the quarters than the Thatched Cottage. The form was with them – they had beaten us the previous week - and we knew it was going to be tough. I had a feeling that we could be heading for yet another 7-6 decider.
There was a fire roaring away in the smokers area as we arrived at the TC so I wrote down “7-6” on a piece of paper and threw it into the blaze…
“Oh ye gods I demand you lift this curse from the pack!!”
JY “the Cinderella man” said that he could make it but wouldn’t be available for the second half. So Coach decided that it was probably easier to give him the night off and replaced him with The Slugger. Kev's ceaseless quest to attend every lap-dancing bar in Western Europe had prevented him from playing in last weeks loss to The TC, but he returned to the fold with wind his sails, chalk on his tip and lead in his pencil.
The first six frames were all nip and tuck. Coach should have been beat in the opener but Vinny made a terrible mess on the match-winning ball and then gave away two shots. John did his version of “Go your own way” with a bizarre set of shot selections but managed to get the job done and we took an undeserving lead. 1-0
The Slugger returned the favour in the next when he rather unfortunately left himself with only a tough long yellow and snookered on his other last ball one over the pocket. After missing the pot John Molley needed no second invitation and levelled the match. 1-1
Lol looked like being in command in the third frame until failing on his last ball. It left The Wonder with five reds and a black that were dispatched accordingly. 2-1
Uzzell then dug in against Magic with a street-wise performance of safety and potting and we were all square again at 2-2.
The Bear was up against Dog in the winner-takes-all, animal nicknames encounter, and the money for the favourite was landed when Brad put the hound down. Once Farrah beat Lee in the sixth frame it was 3-3 on the night and you just felt that there was a last frame decider on its way again.
A Racks Pack team huddle round the hotdogs and roast potatoes began. The order for the second half was now becoming quite crucial and everyone pitched in with a plan, including Andy Brant. Yes, THAT Andy Brant! Where there’s free food you find this half of the Right Said Fred of Thames Valley Pool, and tonight was no exception. We settled on Keith leading out against John “Lord” Molley and was quickly onto last orders as he put in his best finish of the season. Starting with a long red from off the cushion, he then put another into the middle by flicking it in off the difficult ball on the rail. Luckily that ball poked out just enough to leave the pot on and with the black gaping he made it 4-3.
Frame eight, and in what was probably the turning point of the match Lee ‘The Grinder’ played Steve Adams. Lee has not been at his best this season (as the averages will show) but he had an inspired frame this time around, and put in a wonderful finish just when we needed it. The black rattled for a second and then dropping into the corner to add a bit more tension. We had a two frame lead and now the pressure was firmly on the opposition. 5-3
Frame nine and the best one of the night for me. There can’t be many matches where you would see two players with more under their belts than Uzzell v Brad – frames of pool we mean! With these two you know there’s a lot those belts can hold a lot in, and tonight they were stretched to breaking point. It certainly was there to be seen on the Ruzzler!
The Bear engineered a situation where he had to play a clever shot of potting one red, screwing across the table to knock in another that was covered by a yellow, and leaving himself a long black that was in the jaws at the other end of the table. Of course Uzzell knew this, and played some excellent containing shots to stop it…and a long frame of cat and mouse was played out. Eventually Robert got to a situation where he was one more visit away from a chance of turning the frame round…and Brad was forced into taking on the double pot. He played it superbly. Potting the ball over the right corner he managed to fire the white back across and knock in the one over the opposite pocket, the white then flew up the table towards the black and stopped in the only place where he couldn’t put the black in directly. Instead The Bear played the white across the table, off the side cushion and back across to hit the black along the top rail and in. Terrific shot and easily the Flair shot of the week (although not pointless).
At 6-3 we were looking good and Kev bought home the pancetta with a clinical finish. Vinny gave away two shots away and The Slugger never looked in trouble as he knocked in the final balls to give us the win. 7-3
At last we could take that monkey off our back.
So as I said at the start, it’s all about those demons. Talking of which the others Racks team AKA Racks Pack-it-in (Racks Maniacs actually, but I see what you did there – ED) got through 7-6 against Woodlands Park. Steve Cox was the Racks hero, clinching the match. It brings about the scary possibility that he might stop moaning for a change. We had to listen to him bitch about how unfair our section was, what with us, The Likely Lads, Thatched Cottage as his Earls Angels team…only to then find out he transferred to back Racks Maniacs instead!! In the second semi final they have drawn the Foresters who came from 6-3 down to defeat the Thatched Cottage A 7-6.
Also on the subject of Demons, in an interesting development in the first semi-final we are now up against BAPL. Regular readers (all two of them) will now be putting the pieces together as they realise that not only have we exorcised one demon (getting past the quarter finals) we now have the chance to exorcise a second demon by beating BAPL (they beat us in the quarter final last year) with a further possibility of exorcising a third in the final against Foresters (they beat us in the quarter finals two years ago)!
Somebody get me a ouija board, some pins and a voodoo doll!
Four years ago Colin Montgomery stood over (and made) the putt to win Europe the Ryder Cup having taken so much stick from the American “fans” that his dad walked off the course, unable to listen to it.
Easily making my top 5 sporting moments was Goran Ivanisevic winning Wimbledon in 2001. Having lost in three finals (twice to Sampras and once to Andre Agassi), he was a 150-1 no-hoper at the start of the tournament. Two weeks later, and after a last service game that was quite incredible, he beat Pat Rafter to finally take the title and exorcise the demons.
Maybe, just maybe, the sporting gods have handed the Racks Pack a similar opportunity…
Exorcising the Demons
After falling at the quarter final hurdle two years running we really couldn’t have picked a worse team to play in the quarters than the Thatched Cottage. The form was with them – they had beaten us the previous week - and we knew it was going to be tough. I had a feeling that we could be heading for yet another 7-6 decider.
There was a fire roaring away in the smokers area as we arrived at the TC so I wrote down “7-6” on a piece of paper and threw it into the blaze…
“Oh ye gods I demand you lift this curse from the pack!!”
JY “the Cinderella man” said that he could make it but wouldn’t be available for the second half. So Coach decided that it was probably easier to give him the night off and replaced him with The Slugger. Kev's ceaseless quest to attend every lap-dancing bar in Western Europe had prevented him from playing in last weeks loss to The TC, but he returned to the fold with wind his sails, chalk on his tip and lead in his pencil.
The first six frames were all nip and tuck. Coach should have been beat in the opener but Vinny made a terrible mess on the match-winning ball and then gave away two shots. John did his version of “Go your own way” with a bizarre set of shot selections but managed to get the job done and we took an undeserving lead. 1-0
The Slugger returned the favour in the next when he rather unfortunately left himself with only a tough long yellow and snookered on his other last ball one over the pocket. After missing the pot John Molley needed no second invitation and levelled the match. 1-1
Lol looked like being in command in the third frame until failing on his last ball. It left The Wonder with five reds and a black that were dispatched accordingly. 2-1
Uzzell then dug in against Magic with a street-wise performance of safety and potting and we were all square again at 2-2.
The Bear was up against Dog in the winner-takes-all, animal nicknames encounter, and the money for the favourite was landed when Brad put the hound down. Once Farrah beat Lee in the sixth frame it was 3-3 on the night and you just felt that there was a last frame decider on its way again.
A Racks Pack team huddle round the hotdogs and roast potatoes began. The order for the second half was now becoming quite crucial and everyone pitched in with a plan, including Andy Brant. Yes, THAT Andy Brant! Where there’s free food you find this half of the Right Said Fred of Thames Valley Pool, and tonight was no exception. We settled on Keith leading out against John “Lord” Molley and was quickly onto last orders as he put in his best finish of the season. Starting with a long red from off the cushion, he then put another into the middle by flicking it in off the difficult ball on the rail. Luckily that ball poked out just enough to leave the pot on and with the black gaping he made it 4-3.
Frame eight, and in what was probably the turning point of the match Lee ‘The Grinder’ played Steve Adams. Lee has not been at his best this season (as the averages will show) but he had an inspired frame this time around, and put in a wonderful finish just when we needed it. The black rattled for a second and then dropping into the corner to add a bit more tension. We had a two frame lead and now the pressure was firmly on the opposition. 5-3
Frame nine and the best one of the night for me. There can’t be many matches where you would see two players with more under their belts than Uzzell v Brad – frames of pool we mean! With these two you know there’s a lot those belts can hold a lot in, and tonight they were stretched to breaking point. It certainly was there to be seen on the Ruzzler!
The Bear engineered a situation where he had to play a clever shot of potting one red, screwing across the table to knock in another that was covered by a yellow, and leaving himself a long black that was in the jaws at the other end of the table. Of course Uzzell knew this, and played some excellent containing shots to stop it…and a long frame of cat and mouse was played out. Eventually Robert got to a situation where he was one more visit away from a chance of turning the frame round…and Brad was forced into taking on the double pot. He played it superbly. Potting the ball over the right corner he managed to fire the white back across and knock in the one over the opposite pocket, the white then flew up the table towards the black and stopped in the only place where he couldn’t put the black in directly. Instead The Bear played the white across the table, off the side cushion and back across to hit the black along the top rail and in. Terrific shot and easily the Flair shot of the week (although not pointless).
At 6-3 we were looking good and Kev bought home the pancetta with a clinical finish. Vinny gave away two shots away and The Slugger never looked in trouble as he knocked in the final balls to give us the win. 7-3
At last we could take that monkey off our back.
So as I said at the start, it’s all about those demons. Talking of which the others Racks team AKA Racks Pack-it-in (Racks Maniacs actually, but I see what you did there – ED) got through 7-6 against Woodlands Park. Steve Cox was the Racks hero, clinching the match. It brings about the scary possibility that he might stop moaning for a change. We had to listen to him bitch about how unfair our section was, what with us, The Likely Lads, Thatched Cottage as his Earls Angels team…only to then find out he transferred to back Racks Maniacs instead!! In the second semi final they have drawn the Foresters who came from 6-3 down to defeat the Thatched Cottage A 7-6.
Also on the subject of Demons, in an interesting development in the first semi-final we are now up against BAPL. Regular readers (all two of them) will now be putting the pieces together as they realise that not only have we exorcised one demon (getting past the quarter finals) we now have the chance to exorcise a second demon by beating BAPL (they beat us in the quarter final last year) with a further possibility of exorcising a third in the final against Foresters (they beat us in the quarter finals two years ago)!
Somebody get me a ouija board, some pins and a voodoo doll!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Updated Averages
Now that the league section of the summer shin-dig is over, here are the updated averages:
Now that I am no longer top I have decided to keep the averages going through the knockout section. With John Young threatening not to come to next weeks quarter final, it's up to John S, Neil and myself to give Keith a race for top spot. It looks difficult for Brad to top the averages now, what with his loss from this week, and the fact that I am calculating the averages.
Slugger.
| RANKING | Player | Played* | Won | Win % | Team -Matches Played | Player - Matches Played | Attendance % | Total Points |
| 1 | Keith | 13 | 11 | 84.6 | 10 | 7 | 70.0 | 155 |
| 2 | Vic | 12 | 10 | 83.3 | 10 | 7 | 70.0 | 153 |
| 3 | Kevin | 14 | 10 | 71.4 | 10 | 8 | 80.0 | 151 |
| 4 | John S | 15 | 9 | 60.0 | 10 | 9 | 90.0 | 150 |
| 4 | Neil | 15 | 9 | 60.0 | 10 | 9 | 90.0 | 150 |
| 6 | John Y | 14 | 9 | 64.3 | 10 | 8 | 80.0 | 144 |
| 7 | Brad | 12 | 10 | 83.3 | 10 | 6 | 60.0 | 143 |
| 8 | Lee | 11 | 6 | 54.5 | 10 | 7 | 70.0 | 125 |
| 9 | Ben | 2 | 2 | 100.0 | 10 | 1 | 10.0 | 110 |
| *After home match versus Thatched | ||||||||
Now that I am no longer top I have decided to keep the averages going through the knockout section. With John Young threatening not to come to next weeks quarter final, it's up to John S, Neil and myself to give Keith a race for top spot. It looks difficult for Brad to top the averages now, what with his loss from this week, and the fact that I am calculating the averages.
Slugger.
Match Report - Home versus The Thatched Cottage
Hoping For A Miracle.
I’m a total TV sports addict (apart from cricket!). I watch so much of the stuff is ridiculous, but when you are watching something live it’s always more fun, especially when you see some sort of cliffhanger or one-off miracle happening that will live long in the memory. My work mates’ brother went to the Liverpool - Milan Champions League final in Turkey a few years back, and left at half-time when Liverpool were 3-0 down. He and his friends were totally fed up and couldn’t face the taxi queue to get back into Istanbul centre once the match had finished. After a 30 minute cab ride into town they saw Liverpool fans running out of nearby bars screaming and shouting and the horror of what they had done dawned on them - Liverpool were back to 3-3! It was heading for extra time and the drama of what would follow, with a penalty shoot-out to decide the greatest prize in European club football, will go down in football folklore. Meanwhile, they sat in a bar watching it unfold not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
Of course watching a sporting miracle is one thing, but actually being part of that ‘miracle’ is something special, a story to tell the grandkids for years and years to come. As we arrived at Racks on Monday the question on the back pages of every sports publication in the country was “Could the Rackspack sink the Thatched Cottage 11-1, clinch the section title and create their own sporting miracle?”
We had been greeted by the news that regardless of the result we had drawn the Thatched anyway in the quarters. The only thing left to sort out was the section winner and therefore have home advantage for the knock out stages starting next Monday. Team news showed that The Slugger was away scouting burlesque houses in Paris, France but Grinder Greenwood had returned to take his place and give us the six we needed.
Having to win any pool match 11-1 is not an enviable position, but of course it was our own fault we were in this position the first place - the balls-up with the Golden Cross game had seen to that. However with Christmas rapidly approaching we were heading for that season of miracles so you never know. James “Britain's Hardest” Harness had gone from breaking two vertebrae in his back and fracturing his pelvis on the Saturday, to turning up at the Lady Haig to watch his pool team on the Thursday! Yep, these were certainly strange times and strange things were a-happening. If ever there was time for a miracle it was now.
The Miracle of the Pointless Flair Shot of the Week
We didn’t have to wait long to see it this week. Frame one, and in the battle of the two Johns, John ‘the Coach’ Shiel did his level best to screw up his frame but got let off when John ‘the Landlord’ Molley rattled a long black. It looked safe enough in the middle of the bottom cushion and the white up in the baulk end. But a length of the table double slammed into the top corner put the Racks one up. The scoreboard was up and running and with The Bear up next, the impossible was possible.
The Three Blind Men
One frame up was as close as we got, and it was downhill from here. The Bear went for a finish against Vinny, missed the double on the black and left Vinny to clear up. 1-1
Neil ‘the magic’ got beat by an inspired Farrah (2-1) and JY lost to Dog who had his own miracle when somehow escaping from a snooker and covering JYs only yellow in the process. 3-1
‘Wonder’ took Uzzell out with some ease to get us back in the game (3-2) but the comeback was short-lived as Lee lost to Lol. Lol had three easy reds left all over pockets and the black on its spot. Lee decided the finish wasn’t easy enough so after hitting his last yellow in a wild double attempt he managed to pot two of the three reds and give Lol two visits to finish if off. 4-2 down at the break and by now even a 8-4 win would not be enough, so it was just a case of damage limitation.
The Miracle of the Five Loaves and Two Fishes.
We all know how Jesus fed the crowds near Galilee with just five loaves and two fish. That’s nothing. Every week at Racks Amy somehow manages to feed two pool teams with only six slices of bread, two slices of ham and a tin of tuna - all for only six quid! If there’s ever a second coming then let’s hope the Lord doesn’t decide to start the faith in Maidenhead high street.
The Miracle of the Amazing Vanishing Man.
Despite JYs protests that he wanted to play early in the back six, Coach decided to put the big guns out first to try and get us back into the game and lay down a marker for next weeks knockout. The Wonder doubled up on the night with victory over Vinny, and in an amusing literary twist ‘The Bear’ got one over Steve ‘Grizzly’ Adams. 4-4
With the match all square it was time for us to open our legs and show our class. Unfortunately the quickest finish we could manage in the remaining four frames was by JY, who couldn’t be bothered hanging around for his frame and instead grabbed his cue and legged it. The ‘Cinderella Man’ struck again as he raced off home rather than hang about and turn into a pumpkin by half ten. It was a new and interesting variation on JY’s usual disappearing act.
I’m a total TV sports addict (apart from cricket!). I watch so much of the stuff is ridiculous, but when you are watching something live it’s always more fun, especially when you see some sort of cliffhanger or one-off miracle happening that will live long in the memory. My work mates’ brother went to the Liverpool - Milan Champions League final in Turkey a few years back, and left at half-time when Liverpool were 3-0 down. He and his friends were totally fed up and couldn’t face the taxi queue to get back into Istanbul centre once the match had finished. After a 30 minute cab ride into town they saw Liverpool fans running out of nearby bars screaming and shouting and the horror of what they had done dawned on them - Liverpool were back to 3-3! It was heading for extra time and the drama of what would follow, with a penalty shoot-out to decide the greatest prize in European club football, will go down in football folklore. Meanwhile, they sat in a bar watching it unfold not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
Of course watching a sporting miracle is one thing, but actually being part of that ‘miracle’ is something special, a story to tell the grandkids for years and years to come. As we arrived at Racks on Monday the question on the back pages of every sports publication in the country was “Could the Rackspack sink the Thatched Cottage 11-1, clinch the section title and create their own sporting miracle?”
We had been greeted by the news that regardless of the result we had drawn the Thatched anyway in the quarters. The only thing left to sort out was the section winner and therefore have home advantage for the knock out stages starting next Monday. Team news showed that The Slugger was away scouting burlesque houses in Paris, France but Grinder Greenwood had returned to take his place and give us the six we needed.
Having to win any pool match 11-1 is not an enviable position, but of course it was our own fault we were in this position the first place - the balls-up with the Golden Cross game had seen to that. However with Christmas rapidly approaching we were heading for that season of miracles so you never know. James “Britain's Hardest” Harness had gone from breaking two vertebrae in his back and fracturing his pelvis on the Saturday, to turning up at the Lady Haig to watch his pool team on the Thursday! Yep, these were certainly strange times and strange things were a-happening. If ever there was time for a miracle it was now.
The Miracle of the Pointless Flair Shot of the Week
We didn’t have to wait long to see it this week. Frame one, and in the battle of the two Johns, John ‘the Coach’ Shiel did his level best to screw up his frame but got let off when John ‘the Landlord’ Molley rattled a long black. It looked safe enough in the middle of the bottom cushion and the white up in the baulk end. But a length of the table double slammed into the top corner put the Racks one up. The scoreboard was up and running and with The Bear up next, the impossible was possible.
The Three Blind Men
One frame up was as close as we got, and it was downhill from here. The Bear went for a finish against Vinny, missed the double on the black and left Vinny to clear up. 1-1
Neil ‘the magic’ got beat by an inspired Farrah (2-1) and JY lost to Dog who had his own miracle when somehow escaping from a snooker and covering JYs only yellow in the process. 3-1
‘Wonder’ took Uzzell out with some ease to get us back in the game (3-2) but the comeback was short-lived as Lee lost to Lol. Lol had three easy reds left all over pockets and the black on its spot. Lee decided the finish wasn’t easy enough so after hitting his last yellow in a wild double attempt he managed to pot two of the three reds and give Lol two visits to finish if off. 4-2 down at the break and by now even a 8-4 win would not be enough, so it was just a case of damage limitation.
The Miracle of the Five Loaves and Two Fishes.
We all know how Jesus fed the crowds near Galilee with just five loaves and two fish. That’s nothing. Every week at Racks Amy somehow manages to feed two pool teams with only six slices of bread, two slices of ham and a tin of tuna - all for only six quid! If there’s ever a second coming then let’s hope the Lord doesn’t decide to start the faith in Maidenhead high street.
The Miracle of the Amazing Vanishing Man.
Despite JYs protests that he wanted to play early in the back six, Coach decided to put the big guns out first to try and get us back into the game and lay down a marker for next weeks knockout. The Wonder doubled up on the night with victory over Vinny, and in an amusing literary twist ‘The Bear’ got one over Steve ‘Grizzly’ Adams. 4-4
With the match all square it was time for us to open our legs and show our class. Unfortunately the quickest finish we could manage in the remaining four frames was by JY, who couldn’t be bothered hanging around for his frame and instead grabbed his cue and legged it. The ‘Cinderella Man’ struck again as he raced off home rather than hang about and turn into a pumpkin by half ten. It was a new and interesting variation on JY’s usual disappearing act.
While most of us were either laughing or just plain dumbstruck Coach was trying to hand Uzzell a double doughnut. Maybe the disappearance of JY to blame, or maybe just the terrible shot selection (or both) but either way Rob sent Coach packing and it was 5-4. Lol was the grateful recipient of JY’s Houdini impression and we went from 4-4 to 6-4 down in a matter of minutes.
Magic played an excellent solid frame against Dog to give us hope of the draw (6-5) but Chris Farrah struck again for his double against Lee to put us down for good. 7-5 after Lee gave away a deliberate foul only to see Chris pull out a fantastic finish for a Man of the Match performance and victory for the thatched boys.
So we taste defeat for the first time in the campaign in unusual circumstances. It’s been a bizarre few seasons. Over the years we have played and won matches having only four players, struggled at times to get even 6, and not turned up for a match by misreading the fixtures. But I don’t recall us starting with a full team and ending up giving away a frame, so we have once again broken new ground.
In the ultimate piss-take JY text late on to say he had left his coat there and could we find it for him. No doubt he was relieved we found it, which is ironic as we only placed it behind the bar after we all relieved ourselves on it.
Next Monday is the quarter finals and the draw couldn’t be tougher. If we beat the Thatched then it looks like Bracknell in the semi (if they win as expected against the Pond House). Meanwhile in the other half, Thatched A, Forresters, Woodlands Park and the other Racks side will do battle for the honour of taking home a large portion Racks Pack whoop-ass in the final.
This is our third year and our third quarter-final, surely it wont go like the last two and end up in a 7-6 defeat for the mighty Racks boys? Not three times in a row!?! What sort of horrible miracle would that be?
Magic played an excellent solid frame against Dog to give us hope of the draw (6-5) but Chris Farrah struck again for his double against Lee to put us down for good. 7-5 after Lee gave away a deliberate foul only to see Chris pull out a fantastic finish for a Man of the Match performance and victory for the thatched boys.
So we taste defeat for the first time in the campaign in unusual circumstances. It’s been a bizarre few seasons. Over the years we have played and won matches having only four players, struggled at times to get even 6, and not turned up for a match by misreading the fixtures. But I don’t recall us starting with a full team and ending up giving away a frame, so we have once again broken new ground.
In the ultimate piss-take JY text late on to say he had left his coat there and could we find it for him. No doubt he was relieved we found it, which is ironic as we only placed it behind the bar after we all relieved ourselves on it.
Next Monday is the quarter finals and the draw couldn’t be tougher. If we beat the Thatched then it looks like Bracknell in the semi (if they win as expected against the Pond House). Meanwhile in the other half, Thatched A, Forresters, Woodlands Park and the other Racks side will do battle for the honour of taking home a large portion Racks Pack whoop-ass in the final.
This is our third year and our third quarter-final, surely it wont go like the last two and end up in a 7-6 defeat for the mighty Racks boys? Not three times in a row!?! What sort of horrible miracle would that be?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A clarification
We at Racks Pack Towers are not infallible. In fact we make more obvious errors than Alan Davies on QI. In this instance we're happy to provide a clarification regarding the following entry from this weeks blog:
"Secondly we at Racks Packs towers were not amused to read their admission that they knew Brad was up for the Irish in the deciding frame and that “all bets were off…Brad was going to win it”. This statement has propelled ‘The Bears’ already insufferable ego to new stratospheric heights! The final line about it being a shame either team had to lose is absolutely bang on – The Twigg were ambassadors for Bracknell pool, both on and off the table."
We have been informed by a reliable source that the name of Brad's opponent in the deciding frame of their match was ALSO called Brad. Thus the comment from the Bracknell website was a tongue-in-cheek, being as it was a pun on the fact that someone called Brad was bound to win either way.
Further investigation has that this was not the only coincidence. Not only do they have the same name, but Bracknell's Brad also has up to four girlfriends at any one time, uses the word c**t too much, and has a lady's night wing-man called Slugger.
Astonishing.
K&K
"Secondly we at Racks Packs towers were not amused to read their admission that they knew Brad was up for the Irish in the deciding frame and that “all bets were off…Brad was going to win it”. This statement has propelled ‘The Bears’ already insufferable ego to new stratospheric heights! The final line about it being a shame either team had to lose is absolutely bang on – The Twigg were ambassadors for Bracknell pool, both on and off the table."
We have been informed by a reliable source that the name of Brad's opponent in the deciding frame of their match was ALSO called Brad. Thus the comment from the Bracknell website was a tongue-in-cheek, being as it was a pun on the fact that someone called Brad was bound to win either way.
Further investigation has that this was not the only coincidence. Not only do they have the same name, but Bracknell's Brad also has up to four girlfriends at any one time, uses the word c**t too much, and has a lady's night wing-man called Slugger.
Astonishing.
K&K
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Match Report - Away versus The Likely Lads
Before we get to this weeks drivel and really get our teeth into Kevin’s horrendous performance we had better mention a couple of other things that have happened this week.
Firstly some bad news. James “Britain’s Hardest” Harness was knocked off his motorbike on Saturday and is currently strapped to a bed in a Surrey hospital. A couple of broken vertebrae and a fractured pelvis doesn’t sound too good but it could have been a lot worse. The Racks Pack doctor advises us that such injuries could badly affect his ability to play pool...or should that be his ability to play pool badly. Either way, we wish him a full and speedy recovery.
If you have any stories or messages to pass on to James, you can email them to us and we will get them to him. James played for us last summer and all of us at Racks have known and played with him many times over the last 15-20 years.
Next up we have a link to the Bracknell and Ascot website, where you’ll find their version of events from the recent Champion of Champion qualifiers. Seeing as I gave my view a few blog entries ago, I thought that it only fair to give them a right to reply.
Click on http://www.bracknellascotpool.com/latestnews.html and scroll down to the “Gypos slay the Haig” headline.
In the report of the match against the Irish Club a couple of things standoiut. Firstly their description of the decider, and more precisely how they thought that “the table had come to the rescue of the Irish”. It’s quite funny and probably tongue-in-cheek, but they have completely missed the point. Brad deliberately left his oppo a pot knowing full well he had no hope of getting on his last ball. The guy was suckered in and played the shot anyway, and of course didn’t get on it and subsequently lost the match. Secondly we at Racks Packs towers were not amused to read their admission that they knew Brad was up for the Irish in the deciding frame and that “all bets were off…Brad was going to win it”. This statement has propelled ‘The Bears’ already insufferable ego to new stratospheric heights! The final line about it being a shame either team had to lose is absolutely bang on – The Twigg were ambassadors for Bracknell pool, both on and off the table.
The account of the game versus The Lady Haig also raised a smile here in Racks Pack Towers. I particularly enjoyed the part mocking the bloke in the long coat – seeing as a couple of the “Gypos” dropped their load when approaching him at the end of the match – one of them with a clenched fist. Other than that, the most glaring error on the page is that it fails to mention their subsequent disqualification for fielding an illegal player.
An interesting aside, it wasn’t until I read their report that I realised how strong the rivalry is between the Bracknell and Slough teams. The Irish Club have easily been the best side in the county for the last decade (even if you say so yourself – ED), however it has to be said we’ve lost our edge lacking, as we do, any serious competition in the area. The match against The Twigg was just the kick in the arse that we needed to pull our fingers out and put in a top performance. That sort of competition between the top sides is needed and hopefully that will encourage the B&A players to keep getting better and help strengthen the county side for next season. It’s a shame that the Irish Club will be disbanding as it brings to an end a golden era of pool at the Irish club.
There could well be a whole blog entry dedicated to the subject if only to allow me to reminisce about some great times and wallow in self indulgence.
Before my mind wanders, let’s move swiftly on to this weeks match report against The Likely Lads.
What became of the Likely Lads?
Thanks to a combination of bye weeks, teams being ejected and of course gross stupidity, none of the Racks Pack had swung a cue in anger for a month. None, that is, apart from Bradley who seems to be aiming for a new pool endurance record playing, as he does, every other day of the week. Taking into account Maidenhead on a Monday, Slough league on Thursdays, Interleague at Chiswick on a Sunday, a recent county match against Surrey and also the Interleague knockout finals in Yarmouth, surely it’s only a matter of time before he tops the averages somewhere. All this is just a typical few weeks pool in the life of the big fella.
All this pool must have taken it’s toll on the bear, as earlier on Monday afternoon he had text Slugger angling for a lift to pool that night, but instead ended up driving and picking him up! Our match was away at The Pond House, and as usual the rest of us had met up at racks for some practice.
It was Coach Shiels’ birthday, and to help him celebrate he had bought Mrs Coach along. She was in the mood for a night of top class pool and entertainment, but must have been sorely disappointed to find out that we were playing the Likely Lads.
To have almost any hope of clinching the divisional title, we needed a big win over the Likely Lads allied to some kind of miracle/shock result in the game between The Thatched Cottage and Earls Angels. Only these two events in unison would set up a ‘winner takes all’ decider with the TC at our place next Monday. Of course Triple T (Terry The Turncoat) was also aware of this and, like the incontinent uncle at the family birthday, would do all he could to spoil the party.
Leading off was our man at the top of the averages, ‘Slugger’ versus Steve ‘she wanted more’ Carmichael. Kevin had already said on a number of occasions how much he enjoys playing the ‘Aslan of the green baize’, although by now probably not as much as Steve enjoys playing Kev. He of the golden mane beat our own fair-haired fop for the second time in two matches. 0-1
The Bear must have been ‘all pooled out’ as he lost to Andos Brant who hit a cracking black up the rail to put the LL 2-0 up, and dancing Danny Raj outlasted the Coach in a tactical finish as they raced into a commanding 3-0 lead.
By now the idea of us registering a big victory to keep pace in the section was now out the window, and instead it was becoming a case of just trying to avoid an embarrassing thrashing. The comeback began when ‘the Wonder’ beat Maurice Dingley, despite missing an 8-ball finish with a shocking in-off from his second last yellow [shocking as in it took you that long in the frame to go in-off – ED]. 3-1
The comeback was short-lived when Magic lost out to Triple T, who pulled off one of the most outrageous, all time great, fluked safety shots, jawing the white ball in the top corner pocket and leaving Magic snookered on the black thanks to a red in the middle of the table. Triple T polished the game off when he got two shots and Magic was left cursing another loss. 4-1
JY clawed a frame back for us against Pat, who made a terrible mistake sinking the white with the frame at his mercy. At the break it was 4-2.
What was needed now was a few of our top people to pull their thumbs out and stop playing like men with no thumbs. The Bear did just that, handing Pat a second loss in two frames (and a fourth loss out of four against us this season) and JY, fearing a hatchet job when his upcoming profile is published notched his second win on the night to draw us level. 4-4
In the next Andos Brant lost the white ball to give your truly two visits, and I produced the Dish of the Day with a visit to spare to haul the Rackspack ahead for the first time in the match. 5-4
All momentum was with the RP and we were looking unstoppable. We thought there was light at the end of the tunnel after all, but the light turned out to be that of an oncoming train as The Slugger had his pants pulled down and his arse spanked by a gleeful Steve Carmichael. With a plant lined up to take the frame his arm wrote a cheque that his ability couldn’t cash and the red stayed up over the pocket allowing ‘Aslan’ to level it up at 5-5. We put out an order for ‘Two bagels to go’ for The Slugger and they delivered.
Firstly some bad news. James “Britain’s Hardest” Harness was knocked off his motorbike on Saturday and is currently strapped to a bed in a Surrey hospital. A couple of broken vertebrae and a fractured pelvis doesn’t sound too good but it could have been a lot worse. The Racks Pack doctor advises us that such injuries could badly affect his ability to play pool...or should that be his ability to play pool badly. Either way, we wish him a full and speedy recovery.
If you have any stories or messages to pass on to James, you can email them to us and we will get them to him. James played for us last summer and all of us at Racks have known and played with him many times over the last 15-20 years.
Next up we have a link to the Bracknell and Ascot website, where you’ll find their version of events from the recent Champion of Champion qualifiers. Seeing as I gave my view a few blog entries ago, I thought that it only fair to give them a right to reply.
Click on http://www.bracknellascotpool.com/latestnews.html and scroll down to the “Gypos slay the Haig” headline.
In the report of the match against the Irish Club a couple of things standoiut. Firstly their description of the decider, and more precisely how they thought that “the table had come to the rescue of the Irish”. It’s quite funny and probably tongue-in-cheek, but they have completely missed the point. Brad deliberately left his oppo a pot knowing full well he had no hope of getting on his last ball. The guy was suckered in and played the shot anyway, and of course didn’t get on it and subsequently lost the match. Secondly we at Racks Packs towers were not amused to read their admission that they knew Brad was up for the Irish in the deciding frame and that “all bets were off…Brad was going to win it”. This statement has propelled ‘The Bears’ already insufferable ego to new stratospheric heights! The final line about it being a shame either team had to lose is absolutely bang on – The Twigg were ambassadors for Bracknell pool, both on and off the table.
The account of the game versus The Lady Haig also raised a smile here in Racks Pack Towers. I particularly enjoyed the part mocking the bloke in the long coat – seeing as a couple of the “Gypos” dropped their load when approaching him at the end of the match – one of them with a clenched fist. Other than that, the most glaring error on the page is that it fails to mention their subsequent disqualification for fielding an illegal player.
An interesting aside, it wasn’t until I read their report that I realised how strong the rivalry is between the Bracknell and Slough teams. The Irish Club have easily been the best side in the county for the last decade (even if you say so yourself – ED), however it has to be said we’ve lost our edge lacking, as we do, any serious competition in the area. The match against The Twigg was just the kick in the arse that we needed to pull our fingers out and put in a top performance. That sort of competition between the top sides is needed and hopefully that will encourage the B&A players to keep getting better and help strengthen the county side for next season. It’s a shame that the Irish Club will be disbanding as it brings to an end a golden era of pool at the Irish club.
There could well be a whole blog entry dedicated to the subject if only to allow me to reminisce about some great times and wallow in self indulgence.
Before my mind wanders, let’s move swiftly on to this weeks match report against The Likely Lads.
What became of the Likely Lads?
Thanks to a combination of bye weeks, teams being ejected and of course gross stupidity, none of the Racks Pack had swung a cue in anger for a month. None, that is, apart from Bradley who seems to be aiming for a new pool endurance record playing, as he does, every other day of the week. Taking into account Maidenhead on a Monday, Slough league on Thursdays, Interleague at Chiswick on a Sunday, a recent county match against Surrey and also the Interleague knockout finals in Yarmouth, surely it’s only a matter of time before he tops the averages somewhere. All this is just a typical few weeks pool in the life of the big fella.
All this pool must have taken it’s toll on the bear, as earlier on Monday afternoon he had text Slugger angling for a lift to pool that night, but instead ended up driving and picking him up! Our match was away at The Pond House, and as usual the rest of us had met up at racks for some practice.
It was Coach Shiels’ birthday, and to help him celebrate he had bought Mrs Coach along. She was in the mood for a night of top class pool and entertainment, but must have been sorely disappointed to find out that we were playing the Likely Lads.
To have almost any hope of clinching the divisional title, we needed a big win over the Likely Lads allied to some kind of miracle/shock result in the game between The Thatched Cottage and Earls Angels. Only these two events in unison would set up a ‘winner takes all’ decider with the TC at our place next Monday. Of course Triple T (Terry The Turncoat) was also aware of this and, like the incontinent uncle at the family birthday, would do all he could to spoil the party.
Leading off was our man at the top of the averages, ‘Slugger’ versus Steve ‘she wanted more’ Carmichael. Kevin had already said on a number of occasions how much he enjoys playing the ‘Aslan of the green baize’, although by now probably not as much as Steve enjoys playing Kev. He of the golden mane beat our own fair-haired fop for the second time in two matches. 0-1
The Bear must have been ‘all pooled out’ as he lost to Andos Brant who hit a cracking black up the rail to put the LL 2-0 up, and dancing Danny Raj outlasted the Coach in a tactical finish as they raced into a commanding 3-0 lead.
By now the idea of us registering a big victory to keep pace in the section was now out the window, and instead it was becoming a case of just trying to avoid an embarrassing thrashing. The comeback began when ‘the Wonder’ beat Maurice Dingley, despite missing an 8-ball finish with a shocking in-off from his second last yellow [shocking as in it took you that long in the frame to go in-off – ED]. 3-1
The comeback was short-lived when Magic lost out to Triple T, who pulled off one of the most outrageous, all time great, fluked safety shots, jawing the white ball in the top corner pocket and leaving Magic snookered on the black thanks to a red in the middle of the table. Triple T polished the game off when he got two shots and Magic was left cursing another loss. 4-1
JY clawed a frame back for us against Pat, who made a terrible mistake sinking the white with the frame at his mercy. At the break it was 4-2.
What was needed now was a few of our top people to pull their thumbs out and stop playing like men with no thumbs. The Bear did just that, handing Pat a second loss in two frames (and a fourth loss out of four against us this season) and JY, fearing a hatchet job when his upcoming profile is published notched his second win on the night to draw us level. 4-4
In the next Andos Brant lost the white ball to give your truly two visits, and I produced the Dish of the Day with a visit to spare to haul the Rackspack ahead for the first time in the match. 5-4
All momentum was with the RP and we were looking unstoppable. We thought there was light at the end of the tunnel after all, but the light turned out to be that of an oncoming train as The Slugger had his pants pulled down and his arse spanked by a gleeful Steve Carmichael. With a plant lined up to take the frame his arm wrote a cheque that his ability couldn’t cash and the red stayed up over the pocket allowing ‘Aslan’ to level it up at 5-5. We put out an order for ‘Two bagels to go’ for The Slugger and they delivered.
Needing both the last two to win it my money wouldn’t have been on Magic to beat Danny. Magic has had almost no run of the balls this season, and his task wasn’t made any easier by me putting Fleetwood Mac’s “Go your own way” on the jukebox just a he was putting in his first clearance attempt. He was unlucky to just nudge his last red behind a yellow but recovered to put it over a pocket. Than, after potting the red and surviving a snooker on the black the bad run he had been getting went out the window as he came off the side cushion to escape a snooker, crashed into the black and managed to slam it into the middle pocket. 6-5
And so the scene was set for birthday boy Coach Shiel to go out and win the match for us and with it the love of his woman. Frankly he owed us for the debacle of missing the Golden Cross fixture a few weeks earlier, and with Mrs Coach in attendance everything was poised for him to repay both team and wife. A couple of misfires, some lucky leaves, and a miss from Triple T gave Coach a long black for the win. It rattled in the jaws of the pocket, thought about it, and subsequently decided that since it was his birthday it would finally drop just when we all thought it was staying up. 7-5 and the victory was ours.
And so the scene was set for birthday boy Coach Shiel to go out and win the match for us and with it the love of his woman. Frankly he owed us for the debacle of missing the Golden Cross fixture a few weeks earlier, and with Mrs Coach in attendance everything was poised for him to repay both team and wife. A couple of misfires, some lucky leaves, and a miss from Triple T gave Coach a long black for the win. It rattled in the jaws of the pocket, thought about it, and subsequently decided that since it was his birthday it would finally drop just when we all thought it was staying up. 7-5 and the victory was ours.
So we escaped with the 3 points but really three points and a 7-5 win wasn’t enough. The Thatched won 10-2 some quick calculations on Stephen Hawking’s wheelchair tell us that we need to win at least 11-1 next Monday to nick the section. Unlikely but lest we forget…we are not simply men - we are Racks Pack!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Player Profile Special - Kevin Southam & Keith Walls
By popular demand, and to satisfy the lust of our legions of female admirers, here are the long-awaited and much anticipated player profiles of Messrs Southam & Walls:
----------------------------------------
Name:
Kevin Southam
Nickname:
“Slugger”. Back in the day his league doubles partner was a 18 stone nightclub bouncer called Jason Brown. “Slugger” was the only one who ever got away with slagging him off if he messed up.
Age:
35
Weight:
78 KGs, consisting of 90% McDonalds & 10% Water.
Job:
As co-founder and CEO of Rackspack Incorporated, and Chief Editor of rackspack.blogspot.com, he’s the man to please if you DON’T want your name to appear online.
Fav food:
Pizza.
Fav drink:
Chilled red wine.
Fav woman:
Wife. After that it’s not possible to pick just one.
Fav music:
Anything Keith doesn’t like or has in fact heard of.
He says:
“I don’t have my hair cut – I have it ‘styled’. That’s the difference between me and you”
They say:
With his boyish good looks, understated sartorial elegance, and an uncanny ability to turn on the charm for the ladies, this cue wielding fop is the Hugh Grant of local league pool.
K&K say:
It wouldn’t be the same without him. It might be better, but it wouldn’t be the same.
Where you might find him:
In Smokey Joe’s before anyone else has arrived.
Where you wont find him:
Working out at the gym. He goes five times a week but never actually makes it past the smoothie bar.
One more thing:
It’s a little known fact that Kevin is a body double of World Darts Star Mark ‘flash’ Dudbridge:
Name:
Keith Walls
Nickname:
In a long career the self-named “mayor of flair” has been known as “Wonder”, “Wallis”, “The Duke Of Fluke” , “On Drugs Clearance” , “Ice Cream Man”, “Sausages” etc.
Age:
35
Weight:
So low that his weight actually doubles if he is walking in the rain wearing a wool jumper.
Job:
Chief creative contributor of Rackspack.blogspot.com; Chairman of the pointless flair shot of the week adjudication committee; Moral compass of Kevin Southam (God help him).
Fav food:
Gerbil. Deep fried preferably.
Fav drink:
The black stuff.
Fav woman:
Partner Hannah & daughter Leah.
Fav Shot:
The pointless drag shot. Feared many times, miscued many more.
Fav music:
Anything and everything you have never heard of.
He says:
Far too much for his own good when hes had too many Guinness.
They say:
If only they could get a word in edgeways…
K&K say:
What can one say about Keith? Take a dose of flair, a pinch of charisma, a dash of gay abandon and a large portion of bombay duck (luck) and you have the ingredients of a legend in Thames Valley pool.
Where you might find him:
On the terraces at Croke Park cheering on the Irish Football team
Where you wont find him:
On the terraces at the next world cup cheering on the Ireland football team
One more thing:
A big Liverpool fan, Keith’s favourite players are Luis Garcia and Dirk Kuyt.
Where you should find him:
At a Just For Men convention
----------------------------------------
Name:
Kevin Southam
Nickname:
“Slugger”. Back in the day his league doubles partner was a 18 stone nightclub bouncer called Jason Brown. “Slugger” was the only one who ever got away with slagging him off if he messed up.
Age:
35
Weight:
78 KGs, consisting of 90% McDonalds & 10% Water.
Job:
As co-founder and CEO of Rackspack Incorporated, and Chief Editor of rackspack.blogspot.com, he’s the man to please if you DON’T want your name to appear online.
Fav food:
Pizza.
Fav drink:
Chilled red wine.
Fav woman:
Wife. After that it’s not possible to pick just one.
Fav music:
Anything Keith doesn’t like or has in fact heard of.
He says:
“I don’t have my hair cut – I have it ‘styled’. That’s the difference between me and you”
They say:
With his boyish good looks, understated sartorial elegance, and an uncanny ability to turn on the charm for the ladies, this cue wielding fop is the Hugh Grant of local league pool.
K&K say:
It wouldn’t be the same without him. It might be better, but it wouldn’t be the same.
Where you might find him:
In Smokey Joe’s before anyone else has arrived.
Where you wont find him:
Working out at the gym. He goes five times a week but never actually makes it past the smoothie bar.
One more thing:
It’s a little known fact that Kevin is a body double of World Darts Star Mark ‘flash’ Dudbridge:
----------------------------------------
Name:
Keith Walls
Nickname:
In a long career the self-named “mayor of flair” has been known as “Wonder”, “Wallis”, “The Duke Of Fluke” , “On Drugs Clearance” , “Ice Cream Man”, “Sausages” etc.
Age:
35
Weight:
So low that his weight actually doubles if he is walking in the rain wearing a wool jumper.
Job:
Chief creative contributor of Rackspack.blogspot.com; Chairman of the pointless flair shot of the week adjudication committee; Moral compass of Kevin Southam (God help him).
Fav food:
Gerbil. Deep fried preferably.
Fav drink:
The black stuff.
Fav woman:
Partner Hannah & daughter Leah.
Fav Shot:
The pointless drag shot. Feared many times, miscued many more.
Fav music:
Anything and everything you have never heard of.
He says:
Far too much for his own good when hes had too many Guinness.
They say:
If only they could get a word in edgeways…
K&K say:
What can one say about Keith? Take a dose of flair, a pinch of charisma, a dash of gay abandon and a large portion of bombay duck (luck) and you have the ingredients of a legend in Thames Valley pool.
Where you might find him:
On the terraces at Croke Park cheering on the Irish Football team
Where you wont find him:
On the terraces at the next world cup cheering on the Ireland football team
One more thing:
A big Liverpool fan, Keith’s favourite players are Luis Garcia and Dirk Kuyt.
Where you should find him:
At a Just For Men convention
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